Saturday, March 26, 2016

Writing is Hard

Writing is way more difficult that it used to be for me. I still have the same imagination and the same desire to create stories, but--when I'm writing--it just falls short of what was in my head. Another thing that has been bothering me since I started writing (so... since I was like 13) is that I don't necessarily like writing by itself, I need some sort of visual representation of what's going on, and that's what stops me every time.

When I was a teenager, I would use my Lord of the Rings toys to map things out and see how things went. As I grew older, I started to feel like that was completely ridiculous and that I needed to write on my own, and at the most make a map of the world I was creating. Now... I feel silly drawing maps and stuff, but I still do it and it's not enough.

All that brings me to the way I want to tell a story, and that's visually, but I don't really have the means to, or I can't afford the means to. I'm not a good drawer, and I'm not that good with dressing a world up (so most of my ideas are generic fantasy hinted with science fiction). I've only ever been able to make a setting within an already created world, and that's only been done for me in games that had a map editor, and even those had limitations because I had only used a console for most of my life, which didn't give me much access to map editing, but I did find Halo 3 and 4 helpful.

 I only just started getting into PC games and even using a PC for things aside from the MMOs of my younger days. I've tried Sword Coast Legends (which doesn't have that good of a world editor), Amnesia (editor was too confusing for me), and I just haven't found anything I really like, but Doom is on the way in under two months, and that will have a map editor (even if it's only for PvP). I just wish there was something simple for a game like Pillars of Eternity.

Anyway, I'm going to continue trying to write for a while.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

It's Been a While

My last post was in August, and since then, I haven't felt the urge to write and my brain has been a bit jumbled. I'm pretty disappointed because I love writing and I love creating fiction, but now I just do it in my mind.

As for sculpting, it's been an uphill battle to get me sculpting regularly and I try to force myself to do so more often, but when I force myself, I end up being unhappy with what I made. I've stopped posting sculpting processes on here and instead, I--begrudgingly--created a Twitter account ( There, I have been semi-frequently been giving updates on what I'm making, and I also have it linked to my Etsy store. It's difficult for me because I really dislike social media, but I feel like doing something I dislike could make me more tolerant to it.

Oh, and it was just my birthday. Over the weekend, I gorged on pastries and other sugary masses until I felt sick. My body reacted pretty badly to it, especially since I've been trying to eat more healthfully. Never again will I do that to myself. I also just (today) finished Drew Karpyshyn's Rule of Two novel--it was great. I'll have to order the third book in the series sometime, but for now, I have a giant birthday present to read (Mass Effect Library Edition 1 comic book) and I'll also be reading Andrzej Sapkowski's Sword of Destiny.

Thanks for reading, it's nice to clear my mind of thoughts once in a while--even if those thoughts are just what I've been doing.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Ermac - "K"-ompleted

It took a while, but I finished my Ermac sculpture. It's one of the Fatality poses, but I think I may have gotten the arms wrong--which is fine. I'm pretty happy with the way it came out (except I didn't realize Ermac actually has two buttons on the gold flap on the right and middle, and one on the left side, I thought the reference picture was wrong--silly me).

It took around 10 hours to finish, and I still have to reinforce the base since it cracked a bit. Other than that, here it is unpainted:
And here it is all done:

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Baraka - Finished

Since I can remember, Baraka has been one of my favorite Mortal Kombat characters. I would use him when I was little and playing Mortal Kombat 2 on the Sega Genesis, and I continued using him up to MK9 (too bad he isn't in Mortal Kombat X as of now).

Anyway, here's my unpainted Baraka sculpture:

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Tremor, Amongst Nearly Completed Things

Tremor is in the oven and is "koming soon". I spent around three and a half hours working on that sculpture yesterday. I hope I don't have a hard time parting with it. It's one of the first sculptures that I really like. One thing I have a problem with right now is body measurements and proportions, so Tremor looks like he's half dwarf--but that adds so much charm.

Here he is out of the oven, with some burn marks on his hood.

Here are two almost completed sculptures I made in the past week. I finished the Morrowind Bone Lord a few days ago when my two other things got ruined. As for the Koffing, I had it a while but just kept forgetting to put it in the oven. Both of them are mostly done, but I'm not that happy with the paint job on them.

Thursday, July 16, 2015


Sometimes, it's hard to know when I'm happy; I'll feel like something changed my mood from the monotonous drone-feeling, but I can never tell if that's happy or just okay. I'm perfectly content with just being okay.

Today was different. I woke up, ate, got ready--did the same things as always--but I was surprised by an Etsy message. Etsy is something that I feel has made me a little happier on some days, and it's certainly given me some purpose; the joy of seeing that someone "favorited" a sculpture, that someone bought something, or that someone asked me anything is new to me. Anyway, the message was from someone who liked something I made and wanted to buy two of them--I only had one. I drop all I'm doing (which isn't much) and immediately start going to work with it. Once I was done, I had some sense of accomplishment, despite it not being totally completed.

I just wish those moments would last longer for me. I feel like happiness fades rather quickly for me, and I'm never sure if it's the same for anyone else. At least I've accepted that I'm not usually a happy person (unless I'm trying to make someone happy) and that depression just takes over on some days; I just know that despite how unhappy I may feel, everyday will have something new--a new potential happiness that I'll always try to grasp at.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Poe Collector

One of my favorite things to do in Ocarina of Time was to collect Poes and give them to the Poe Collector who lived at Hyrule Market's exit. He was a weird little guy and I always wondered who he was (I still do sometimes). I'd just see him swaying that stick and moving his feet in a steady, hypnotic rhythm.

So I made him as best as I could.